The Two Biggest Ones

Hayley lost yet another tooth last week while we were in Dodge City. She has lost 6 teeth now and is enjoying the new found art of whistling through her "windows". I must say I was anxious for the second of the top 2 to go. I couldn't wait to see how big she would look with both of them gone. I was not disappointed. She is of course adorable!

The tooth fairy brought Hayley coins and apparently, lots of them because she or he (Jeff) was low on dollar bills. So she received an array of coins under her pillow. Which led to the discussion on what she could do with her money. Jeff saw this as an opportunity to start teaching our daughter about money for the offering plate.

Jeff: The Bible indicates that we are supposed to tithe at least 10% of our money.

Hayley: Why?

Jeff: Because all of our money belongs to God and he asks us to give back to support the church, its ministries and people in need.

Hayley: How much do I need to give the offering?

Jeff: 10%

Hayley: (thinking he met 10 of her coins.) But I only have 14 coins.

Jeff: For every 10 coins you can give 1 to the church.

Hayley: Oh. (she sounds sad) Okay. (still sad)

Me: The thing is Hayley, God doesn't just ask that we give, he wants us to be excited to give, not because we should, but because we can. It is a blessing.

Jeff: Do you understand what we are saying?

Hayley: I think so.

Jeff: How many coins do you want to take to offering? Remember its one coin for every 10. You could do one or two if you want.

Hayley: I want to take 2 coins, the 2 biggest ones! (With a huge smile on her face)

She got it. She totally got it. At this point am feeling pretty pleased. However, on the way to patting myself on the back for helping her with this all important lesson, I pause. She totally got it. Her mother, however, seems to be missing the point. Do as I say, not as I do and all of that. It's not that I am not happy about giving. I love the money that goes out to people in need. My problem lies with giving outside of that, parting with my wants. I guess so often I think, we gave at church, surely I can spend a little on myself or the kids or the house? (like anyone in my house needs more stuff?)

Admitting all of this is sooooooooooooooooooo embarrassing. Especially to those who do not struggle with Consumerism. I think I am still trying to dress up, make up and possibly fake up the "me" I want to be. For some reason I have come to believe I can do such a thing in my quest to find my own final draft. Seriously?! Still?! at age 33. Yep its true. My daughter at age 5 trusts that what we are telling her is the truth and that God provides this money with a purpose for our lives and I am expecting her to follow that without using me as a role model. I know it doesn't sound like it but I actually know better than this.

The Bible has more than 2,350 verses having to do with finances. I know that I am not the first to struggle. Still, I am ashamed of the money I want to spend even if I don't actually buy the thing I am coveting. I can feel forward movement in my walk with the Lord but most often, shortly after the two steps forward, I often trip over my own feet, land on my back, lay there cursing myself and then slowly get back up, dust off and try to move forward once again only this time with a little limp. I might have overdone that analogy. I completely understand if I lost you a little bit.

If you are reading this you might be thinking that I am condemning all but selfless spending and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I feel like it all adds up to my motivation. Buying something can be a great thing whether it be necessity or just brighten up my day, with reason of course. My problem is trying to fill up this space inside me with "stuff". The following is a verse that we did in small group not too long ago.

Phill. 4:12-13; I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I loved this verse because it's like my ultimate goal. I believe it is Paul (I don't have my Bible in front of me) that wrote this while he was in PRISON!!! I am sure if Paul took a good look at my life he would totally understand my discontent. (not so much, I think) I get where I am suppossed to end up, it is just the journey I am struggling with, as usual.

I am closing this entry with no real conclusion, only the hope that someday I will look back and giggle at this post, sort of like my eighth grade school pictures. Right now I just feel a long way from my goal. Pray for me please.

Another funny quality that I know about myself

by Jennie Reish.

I can hear a narrator inside my head telling the story of my life as it moves along. I never realized that other people don't live this way. Its true, I attribute this to almost 6 years as an only child. Well that, and I might be a teensy bit overdramatic. I feel almost as if my life is a dramedy and I am the star. I say dramedy only because I tend to get a little melancholy (Jeff's word) sometimes and the story of my life sounds sad but somehow heroic at the same time. (this is my own mind, remember) Yet the rest of my life is all about slapstick comedy that makes me laugh out loud at myself sometimes, and thus a happy ending most of the time.


In my mind, I see myself walking in slow-mo all the time with my hair gently blowing around me with the help of an invisible wind machine. I am fairly certain no one else sees me like this, unfortunately, but you can be sure if you catch me bobbing my head with a dreamy look on my face I am feeling the wind in my hair and the soundtrack to my life is on "play". Which leads me to this nostalgic mood tonight. (Beatles "my life" playing in the background.)

Today is the day after my best friend Mindy's birthday. Her birthday is July 16th. (it took me a while to publish this) When we were younger, I remember thinking Mindy would turn 16 on the 16th. I am just weird like that. Numbers always seem coincidental to me. I do mean coincidental only to me. I fear an explanation of my number thought patterns to those who might still be on the fence over my sanity could really swing the vote over to certifiable. As it is, my husband has taken to calling me Rainman. Anyhoo...

My point is that Mindy and I have shared many birthdays, (long-distance-ly) but the one that always reminds me it's her birthday is her 16th. There is no one that I have been friends with longer. In junior high and highschool we would call each other first thing in the morning to discuss the all-important school day attire. Then an hour later we would ride to school together and meet Vanessa at the locker we all shared. We had at least 4 of our 6 classes together. Our teachers really appreciated that. After school when we weren't hanging out at her house we talked on the phone. At this point you might be concerned for Mindy's safety. :) But the point is, we never ran out of things to talk about. Really!

Now many years later our lives have changed dramatically. We are both married with kids but as I realized today we still can spend hours on the phone. When she calls I get carried away, forget time and place, and pray my kids can stomach one more Barney movie. Though the topics have changed slightly, the thread that remains the same, is the fact that it could be yesterday or 3 weeks ago when we last talked, we always just seem to pick up where we left off, like we have been having the same conversation for the last 17 years just punctuated by time and circumstance. Our friendship hasn't just stood the test of time, it has grown and evolved and stayed wonderfully familiar at the same time.

My friendships are so valuable to me and I have a feeling all the good ones stemmed from my first best friend. Thanks Mindy you continue to inspire me everyday. Please know you are in my thoughts even on the days when we don't have 2 hours to talk!

Jesus said in John 15: 12-13 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

A Stones Throw Away

I have never been accused of being reasonable. Sometimes my thoughts sound twisted inside my own head. Yes its true and if you already know this about me this story probably will not surprise you in the least. Anyway...

Today Hayley had her little friend Aiden over for a bit while his mama ran to the store. The back story on Aiden is that Hayley is married to him. I explained all the reasons why that could pose a problem later but she won't budge. Therefore Aiden and Hayley are at least for the time being Husband and wife. Anyway I went to check on them. They get along very well so I had a smile on my face when I got outside in anticipation of the sweet antics of my little angel and her beau. Just then that little angel picked up a rock and hucked it over the fence, before my mind could even register what my eyes had just seen!!! I was horrified and when Hayley saw my face she immediately tried to grovel.

I was not hearing any of it. I grabbed her hand and all but flew over to our next door neighbor's house, listening the whole way to my angel beg me to release her from this natural consequence. I would not be deterred. Mr. Harding would listen to my weepy daughter explain that she had thrown rocks over the fence and was so very sorry. With a little coaching, she asked for forgiveness and promised, in her saddest voice, never to throw anything over the fence again. You could tell Mr. Harding would have loved to tell her it was not a big deal, but thankfully he just granted forgiveness and thanked Hayley for confessing.

So here is the unreasonable part of the story. After we got home, and I had time to calm down enough to reflect. I was strangely proud of my little angel. You may already know, but Hayley is verrrrrrry shy. I believe, because of my own fears, I wanted to cushion everything in Hayley's world when she was little. It wasn't until Lilly was born that I realized how resilient children are and how I couldn't save my kids from everything that might potentially hurt them. Sometimes that knowledge hurts a little. Which brings me to the reason property damage made me proud.

I thought about the fact that even though she was shaking in her Hello Kitty flip-flops. She did it, she walked across the yard to face whatever punishment lie in store for her. It was pretty inspiring really. You see, when Hayley sticks her neck out there it is never done with out apprehension. I am in awe of her courage. She may scream her head off at even the thought of any winged beast (wasp, bee, or fly) but when it counts, she musters up everything she can to make it right. I love her so much.

Twirly Love!

This is my first trip into twirly skirt territory. I found a tutorial on the internet on this site http://houseonhillroad.typepad.com/photos/twirly_skirt/skirt_002_1_1.html and as you can see I really have no idea how to do those fancy linking things. Anyway...
This skirt takes almost no time and when I saw the whole outfit together I just about wet my pants. True story.

P.S. How cute is this baby?!

You would have to see to believe!

Today was day 1 of our 2 day garage sale and I am floored! I mean doesn't everyone expect a garage sale to be evil from the days before to the very bitter end. I know I do. When I was "pricing" and I use the term loosely, because as Karen would tell you I really let the customers set the prices. Anyway, when I was pricing I really didn't think I was up for having a garage sale. My husband was even less excited about it, he believes that hell will be a neverending yard sale with people parking in the street all willy nilly, and everyone will be asking if we are selling any antiques over and over. Sound familiar?

I stand corrected!! My girlfriends came over with all of there wares at around 8:00 am this morning and we cooperatively peddled them. It was so much fun!! I stand corrected! I highly recommend putting on a garage sale but only if your friends are willing to join you in your madness. Like me, you might not break even but your toenails will be painted, your children will be exhausted from running unsupervised through your house & your time will have been well spent changing the face of yard sales forever!

I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends.

I am still trying out the many different fonts, so please bear with the inconsistency until I ascertain (thank you online thesaurus) which one feels like my actual speaking voice. I am pretty sure my husband would say if only they made a nails-on-a-chalkboard style font. Today is Thurs. and next to Saturday it is my favorite day of the week. On Thursdays four of my very sweet friends and their kids trudge through the elements (pouring rain today, awful snow in March, etc.) to come and play at my house for just a couple of hours but still enough time to save my sanity and maybe our very lives. This couple of hours with them is such a gift.

When I was little my mom got together with a bunch of other moms, all with kids around the same age. When I look back on different parts of my childhood, I think of those times as maybe the happiest of my life. I still remember most of the kids and even still keep in touch with some of them though we are scattered throughout the country, but I digress.

Let me paint you a picture of Thursday. Moms arrive almost all at the same time which is pretty funny because we are usually 20 minutes late to every event we attend in order to get kids both in the car AND dressed. I may not be late to my own house but I am almost always doing either my hair or my makeup. Usually at least 6 kids are trying to take off coats and shoes at the same time right in front of the door. Little miss Ali barely gets her coat off before she is ready for princess attire. In the sweetest voice she asks "Miss Jen can I dress up?" followed quickly by Macy and then usually Hope. Who could say no to that or even want to for that matter? Then the 10 kiddos pile into Hayley's room for costumes and playtime.

It is usually about 11:30 by the time we all have made it inside so lunch is first on the list. Almost immediately each mom has some assembly line part in making sure each kid gets a plate of food, which is a joint effort of bringing whatever looks edible and fairly healthy to be added to the mix. Then we scavenge food for ourselves answering the many calls of "did I eat enough to get down and play?" and "Miss Jen can I please have some Daddy juice." (cran-raspberry for all of those who aren't familiar) Then the kids pile back into Hayley's room for more playtime where they will stay for the next 2 hours only coming out for snacks or the occasional disagreement. Sometimes we are drying tears, sometimes there is mom intervention but mostly just the sweet sounds of kids doing what they do best, having fun with their buddies.

This time has become such a huge answer to prayer. I am so thankful for the opportunity to get together like this. The first few minutes we seem to all share that look that says 'I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through this day' but by 2:00 when kiddos are tired and played out, there is a look of accomplishment, like the tank just got filled back up. I love these moms and even more I love their sweet babies too. I love all of my friends kids so if you are reading this you know they are all so special to me. However all of you mamas do an amazing job of restoring my soul and reminded me why I wanted so badly to be a mom. I love, love, love to see my children playing (well) with other kids. My eternal gratitude goes out to you! If you don't already attend thursdays, drop by sometime. It can, at the very least, change the course of your day.

How do you like your eggs?

Ok, so here is my first official blog entry! Holy cow what a huge amount of pressure to say something ground-breaking! Already I have used 2 exclamation points and I have only just begun. My friends Amanda and Jennille have already traversed this scary road (see blogs I have to check at least twice a day) and that should give me courage, but it doesn't. It kinda makes me sweat, and not the good Nike commercial sport sweat. It's the sticky, nasty, smelly kind of sweat. Right now you might be asking yourself, "why then would she put her crazy thoughts in Georgia font for others to see?" The answer is, because I want to know how I like my eggs. I know, just try to stay with me here. It might get a little dicey for a minute. I promise I have a point.

Jeff and I missed small group this week because the kids and I were visiting my grandma in St. Louis. When I asked my friend what I missed, she said our group had pondered one of the great theological questions of the ages. "What movie do you most relate to and why" If you are looking for the scripture it might be in um... one of the gospels maybe... Anyway when she told me her movie, Runaway Bride I'll admit I was puzzled but tried to look thoughtful. I have seen the movie before but it was ages ago and considering the title, I was hard pressed to believe she could really relate to a runaway bride. She explained that throughout the movie Julia Roberts' character takes on the likes and dislikes of her fiance of the moment, including the unique way he likes his eggs cooked. Anyway towards the end of the movie, she cooks plates of eggs to determine how SHE likes her eggs prepared. To make a short story long, she realizes she can't truly love someone else until she knows herself.

You might be wondering what this story has to do with me and my blog. Well it all comes down to getting to know myself better; for instance, my likes and dislikes. I have never felt truly comfortable with the person I am. I am always waiting for the "perfect" moment to present itself before I start to appreciate the person I have become. The Bible says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". I think it dishonors God when I am unhappy with what he created me to be. So I am hoping that through this blog, He will show me what he sees in me and what he wants me to see in myself.